I fixate. I fixate hard.
(for a while)
Here’s what it is this week.
All things French. I mean french food, french countryside, french music, french women(is anyone more fabulous?). This is what I do.
This week I want to be French (well I actually am technically French, a quarter to be exact, but you know how that goes 😉 )
I want to eat the food, be skinny- since French women don’t get fat. I want to use their skin products, wear their amazing fashions, have flowing long hair & seem as though I don’t even try to BE so beautiful.
See, when I say I fixate, I mean I really do.
I have always thought “I need to be a better me, because what I am doing seems so lackluster and lazy- someone else must be doing it better & I need to be that.”
So this week I want to be French. Is that so bad? It makes me happy. It keeps me motivated, I even learn a little about France. 🙂
It doesn’t mean I don’t like me (does it?), but what’s wrong with wishing I was better? I am the only one that will make that happen right? Maybe indulging in this will do the trick, maybe it won’t.
My little obsessions, fixations etc have always taught me so much. I think they have made me better. In the end, how I feel & what I think needs to matter the most.That sure sounds selfish, but hell, you gotta look after yourself baby 😉
Of course, I’m not completely crazy, I also realize that these people in the pictures I see may be wishing they lived in Los Angeles and lived a life like mine…..but who knows. We all know the grass is not always greener.
All I know is I have wanted to be so many damn people in my life, and this week it’s this. I want to be me, with a twist.
Maybe this will stick, maybe next month I will be too busy to even think of things French & won’t even remember this little trip- or, maybe next month I shall wish I was something else…who knows?
Maybe next month I shall be practicing to be a trapeze artist in Brazil.
I still just don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
I guess I better hurry up 😉